Building Your Village: Support Systems for Twin Parents
If you’re expecting twins or in the thick of those early months, you've probably heard "it takes a village" more times than you can count. But what happens when your village doesn't look like the traditional picture of grandparents dropping by daily and friends lining up with meals?
The adjustment to life with twins is huge, and expecting yourself to manage everything solo isn't just unrealistic, it's unsustainable. The good news? Your village can look different, and it can still work brilliantly. You just need to build it intentionally.
Connect with Other Parents
Start by joining your local multiple birth association. There's a national network with chapters in most major cities and areas, usually free to join. Reach out via Instagram or their websites to find out what support services they offer. Even if you can't find other twin parents with babies the exact same age, connecting with any parents in similar stages makes a huge difference. Local mothers' groups can help you feel less isolated when you're deep in the chaos of feeding schedules and sleep deprivation.
Outsource the Mental Load
Set up systems that reduce daily decision-making. Organise weekly or monthly food deliveries (freezer meals are gold in those early weeks). Having meals ready to reheat and snacks on hand takes the pressure off constantly thinking about what to eat, especially when you have other kids at home too.
Use online grocery delivery for your essentials. Set up a recurring order through Coles or Woolworths with your staples: milk, bread, coffee, nappies, wipes. Your list and payment details save automatically, so reordering takes seconds. This eliminates the stress of shopping trips before you're ready to tackle outings with two babies.
If your budget allows, consider a cleaner. Even if it's just once a month or every six weeks. It's not indulgent; it's practical support that allows you to let go of one thing, at least for a little while.
Line Up Support Before You Need It
Do the research now, while you have the headspace. Find a postpartum physio before your babies arrive, so you're not scrambling for help with ab separation while managing two newborns. Research psychologists who align with your needs—many have waiting lists or aren't accepting new patients, so having names ready means you can actually access support when you need it.
When you're exhausted and running on fumes, even simple tasks feel monumental. Having resources on standby means you're more likely to follow through with getting help instead of putting it off.
A night nanny for the early weeks or during sleep transitions can be another option if it fits your situation. As our generation shifts toward an "outsourced village," it's worth considering what support can help your mental and physical wellbeing during critical periods.
Your Village, Your Way
Everyone's support system looks different. When my twins arrived and my toddler was two, we had grandparents, family and friends around and it was still challenging. It does get easier and asking for support doesn't mean you're not capable. You absolutely are.
Whether it’s traditional help or outsourced services, asking for and accepting support will make the first year more manageable. Put yourself out there, connect with other parents, and set up systems that work for you. The support will come, you just have to be willing to build your village in the way that fits your life.